2015年上海中考英语考试已于今日上午圆满落幕，今年的中考英语作文题目为“I want to invent_______(我想发明__________)”。上海新东方优能中学英语教师已于第一时间做出作文解析，并提供相应范文。更多2015上海中考消息，敬请关注上海新东方优能中学！

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范文1及点评：

I Want To Invent A Family Doctor Robot

I want to invent a family doctor robot, which can be used to cure the illness without going out of their home. As far as I’m concerned, it will be extremely helpful and useful because of the following reasons:

First, you can see the doctor immediately at home when you feel sick or get hurt. It can save us a lot of time, especially in emergency situations.

Furthermore, hospitals today are always filled with patients, not everyone can be taken good care of. However, with the help of our robot doctors, you can talk to your personal doctor one to one whenever you want.

In short, family doctor robots can make great contribution to our society.

——来自中考英语杨洋老师

精彩亮点分析：

亮点一：全文巧用“first, furthermore, in short” 等连接词，把家庭机器人医生的好处写的非常清晰，让阅卷老师一目了然。

亮点二：全文采用了定语从句、状语从句、并列句等多种长难句，为文采分增色不少。

亮点三：文中出现了“extremely, make contribution to” 这些超纲单词及词组，恰到好处地强调了家庭机器人医生的重要性，且为文采再次进行润色。

作者简介：

杨洋 >>查看该教师课程