托福写作——开头与结尾（一）

五、托福独立写作黄金开头

“万事开头难”，在托福独立写作部分，很多考生在第一段就出现错误，甚至歪曲了原题目的意思，整篇围绕一个错误的观点展开。这样的独立写作，当然不能得高分。本文中，新东方网为您讲解“四句话搞定托福独立写作第一段”技巧，希望对大家有所帮助。

我们写作最重要的一步就是审题，因为审题关系到整个文章思路的确定，而审题准确有否最直接的体现就是文章的开篇段。

一般来说，开篇段落的写作可分为两大步骤：

第一步就是用简洁明了的句子对原题目的意思进行同义替换;

第二步是提出自己的观点。

这两大步骤细化起来可以概括为四句话：

第一句，采用同义替换的方式对原题目的意思进行更改，当然是“形变神不变”;

第二句，对题目的意思进行解释

第三句，提出自己的观点;

第四句，概括自己所提出观点的理由，引起下文。

下面我具体用一些客户常犯的毛病题目来解释这个“两大步，四个句子”的具体运用方法。

案例1：误解原意思

Do you agree or disagree: Because people are busy with doing so many things, they can do few things well?

Original：

Some people may hold the view that they are able to do things well even if they are busy with doing so many things simultaneously or during a given period. Although plausible at the first glance, I disagree with the statement. Depending on my own personal experience and personality, I firmly maintain that people can do few things well when they are busy with doing so many things. My arguments of this opinion are listed as follows.

解析：

文章第一句话不是对原题目意思进行解释，而是采用采取了和原意思相反的做法来进行题目诠释;第二句表明自己对误解题目的观点;第三句话对自己的观点进行近一步的解释;第四句一个过渡性的句子。开篇内容安排倒是很好，但是作者犯了误解原题目意思的错误导致后面整个文字都做了无用功。

改后：

When people are engaged in a large extent of work simultaneously, they will not be able to perform all of them perfectly. Just imagine how terrible it will be: too many jobs need to be done by the same person in a given time. Once such a picture appears in my mind, I feel dizzy. To me, it is impossible to do everything well with the limited energy and many others factors .Therefore , I agree with the statement too many things to be done at the same time cause few to be well done . The reasons are as follow.

Revised：

第一句话对原题目意思进行了很好的诠释;第二、三句话进一步解释原题目;第四句话提出自己的观点;第五句话过渡性句子引起下文。

案例2 ：语言罗嗦，绕弯子给出自己观点，浪费时间

Some young adults want independence from their parents as soon as possible. Other young adults prefer to live with their families for a longer time. Which of these situations do you think is better? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

original：

With the development of science and technology, people’s living standard has been improving day by day. According to the family plan, one couple could have only one child. So child becomes the center of the whole family. Some of them are even spoiled. Therefore, I think it is better if the young adult could live independent from their parents as soon as possible.

解析：

这个开头看似没有任何问题，但是仔细分析就会发现很多问题。首先，作者绕了个大弯才给出自己的观点。其次，观点是对原题目的抄写，改动的比较少。最后，开篇缺少引起下文的过渡句。更大的错误是这个开头更像是一个全文主要观点的一个分论点。

Revised:

As we all know, some young adults have the sense of independence in a special period so that they want to choose to live apart from their family, while others still choose to stay with parents in the family. Family can provide young adults a warm bay where he or she could turn to whenever any problems arise. However, considering the sound development of the young adult both mentally and physically, I think to live independently the earlier, the better. Independence is a lesson that each of us must face one day. The detailed reasons are listed below.

解析：

第一句话诠释原题目意思;第二句话进一步解释第一句话;第三句话提出自己的观点;第四句话解释自己的观点，引出下文。

1.As the society develops,people  pay

more and more attention to  their life

condition.At this time,chossing what kind of job

becomes an essential partof/plays a more essential

role  in people's life, and this is where the

controversy starts. Some believe,take a low paid but secre

job is better. Meanwhile,some people consider that

a high salary job is more challenging although it is easy to lose.

From my prospective, the latter one is

more favorable/reasonable.

粗体字是一个大致的结构,这种结构适合用在比较重大有具有争议的话题.一般的小话题,比如people do what they

are intersted in这种相比就不是很适用.

2.Acording to the investigation,most college students decide to

take a high salary job although it is easy to

lose.   However, some people argued that a low paid

job is more secure. In my opinion,it is ture that we want a secure

job,I would like to choose a high salary one.

其实开头的大致结构都差不多.这种是举一个笼统的事例+反对+个人观点.需要注意的是,不要举一个很细的事例,比如你邻居家的一个例子这种的,这样在中间的支持段落会发现没有例子可举.当然,如果你的例子很多,也可以用一下.

3.My mother always tells me that if I want to be more

successful,I should take risk and try. Although it is less secure

and I may fail,I deeply agree with her. Thus, in my opinion, I

would like to take a job with high salary.

这种结构最适合用在SSAT的作文上,每篇必套.一个引语/名人名言+简单陈述+同意/不同意+个人观点.非常非常经典的SSAT结构(之后还会讲到).

4.In many people's mind,a job should be secure and regular.

However,as the society develops, more and more people decide to

take the high risk but a high paid job.Although it is easy to lose

and hard,I would like to try it too.

先对题目中的关键词下一个和意见相反的定义,然后作出反对+自己的观点.这种用在讨论同一事物的前提.

5.The issue taking what kind of job has been widely discuseed

nowadays.Some people think a low paid job is better because it is

more secure and not too tired. However,some people prefer to take a

high salary job although it is easy to lose and need to work really

hard. In my point of view, I agree with the latter one.

这种是任何题材都适用的最简单的一种.将题目的观点直接复述,然后加上自己的观点.

六、托福写作中的六种漂亮的开头方式

托福写作中，如果能开个好头，肯定能给自己的托福作文增添不少分数。下面为大家整理写好托福写作开头的六种方式，希望对大家有所帮助。

1. 采用统计数字引出话题，把问题呈现在读者面前;

2. 提出有争议性的问题，激发读者兴趣，使其积极参与讨论;

3. 以新颖的观点，吸引读者注意力;

4. 呈现该话题正反方的观点;

5. 引用名人名言、谚语等作为文章的开头;

6. 对将要讨论的话题进行定义。

其次，要善于运用复合句，从而使引言段简洁明了，开宗明义。下面我们将探讨雅思与新托福各种题材和体裁文章引言段的写作方法。 引用数据呈现讨论的话题，说明问题的严重性或者重要性，引起读者的关注。下面我们结合几道雅思和新托福作文话题进行实战演练。

我们在写关于体罚的话题文章时，可以这样开头：

It is reported that a boy in Zhuhai was beaten to death by his father on Father' Day. Ample evidence also shows that children who are frequently abused by their parents or teachers tend to be introverted, pessimistic, indifferent and even world-weary. Recently, there has arisen a fierce argument on whether corporal punishment should be abolished. Teachers, parents and experts take diverse attitudes towards this issue.

据报道，在父亲节那天，珠海有个小男孩被老爸揍死了。充分的证据也显示，经常遭父母或老师虐待的小孩往往比较内向、悲观、冷漠甚至厌世。近 来，关于是否应该废除体罚出现了一场激烈的争论，老师、家长和专家各执一词。

而我们在托福写作写关于该不该禁烟的话题时，可以这样开头：A recent study conducted by Zhongshan University has found that the number of smokers has been increasing sharply over the past five years. Research findings also reveal that the incidence of smoking-related conditions has soared. As a result, the ban on smoking has been in the spotlight.

中山大学最近做的一个研究表明，在过去五年里，吸烟者人数急剧上升。研究结果同时显示，吸烟导致的疾病发病率也急剧增长。因此，禁烟成了个热点话题。