雅思大作文点评（一）

2018-05-18 13:26

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　　On the other hand, overpopulation is also the cause of this problem. Especially in china（标点符号乱用，应该用逗号，然后小写！！！）, although the growth of accommodation is rapid. It still can not meet the increasing needs of people（加个the可能更好些）. Furthermore, with the burgeoning of some industrial cities. People, attractive to(这里到底想表达什么意思呢？！是不是attracted by的意思啊？！) comparative advantages, such as education and job opportunities, have been swarming into these “dreamland of fantasy ”,which brings heavy burden to the limited housing resources. (68words)

　　语言分析：看正文段的语言水平一般就能看出作者真正的英语功底，看来这位老兄也就7分的命了，8分是肯定没有了，呵呵。。。

　　Finally, we can not deniable（低级错误，can后面能加形容词？！） the fact that government lack（单数名词怎么可以加动词原形呢？！） social awareness and consciousness of equilibrium between economic construction and utilization of land. the government of city without the planning of sustainable development for land（此句似乎没有谓语动词！！！）. The policies should be made to allow more skyscrapers to be built (47words)

　　语言分析：此段似乎作者有失水准！！！低级错误很多，导致影响很大！

　　In conclusion, actions to implement the improvement of housing problem should await the participation of government, big companies and factories and individuals.(22words) (249words)

　　综合评论：文章首段和尾段写得还不错。的确，从应试角度来说，这两段是比较固定的，只要少犯些错误，一般不会有大问题！而正文段就不同了，由于灵活性相对来说比较大，内容也不特定，所以比较能反映作者的英语功底。已经有一定水平的同学，可以在正文段上再下些功夫！！！

　　此文6分。