------ 以2015年6月大学英语四级作文为例

上海新东方国内部 贾从永

Directions:

For this part, you are allowed 30 minutes to write an essay based on the picture below. You should start your essay with a brief description of the picture and then comment on parents’ role in their children’s growth. You should write at least 120 words but no more than 180 words.

2015年6月四级考试的三道作文试题都是漫画作文。在本题的漫画中，一个手里拿着录取通知书的女孩对她妈妈说：“妈妈，好消息！我被你所选择的那所大学录取了。”这幅漫画反映的是一些家长在孩子的成长中凡事越俎代庖，从而不利于孩子的成长。

这篇漫画作文宜以三段布局。第一段先简要地描述漫画，然后指出这幅漫画让人思考家长在孩子成长中的正确作用。由于描述漫画是手段而非目的，所以宜简笔勾勒，勿工笔细描。第二段从三个方面阐述家长在孩子的成长中应该扮演的角色：照顾者、榜样和职业顾问。本段是文章的重心，在论述时每个方面都要略作展开，还要注意使用一些过渡词语，使段落呈现出条理性和层次感。第三段首先指出图画中的妈妈虽然用心良苦，但她的做法实际上可能会损害女儿未来的事业。然后水到渠成地给家长们提出建议：最好让孩子独立自主地做出与自己的职业有关的决定。下面请看范文：

The picture above shows a woman smiling happily when her daughter told her that she had been accepted to the college of the mother’s choice. It sets me pondering over the proper role of parents in their children’s growth.

In my view, rather than a decision-maker, parents should be a care giver, a role model and a career adviser in their children’s upbringing. First, parents should take care of their children’s physical needs, ensuring they live in the most loving home possible. Parents should also be a role model, as children always look to their parents for cues on how to get on in the world. Last but by no means least, parents should be their children’s career adviser, encouraging them to explore their interests and pursue their dreams.

As well-intentioned as she is, the woman’s decision might actually hurt her daughter’s future career. Every child is unique. Therefore parents had better allow their children to make career-related decisions on their own. (162 words)

语言亮点借鉴：

1. show sb doing sth，显示某人正在做某事。

2. set sb doing sth，使某人开始做某事。

3. In my view, rather than a decision-maker, parents should be a care giver, a role model and a career adviser in their children’s upbringing. 在我看来，家长在孩子的成长过程中不应是决策者，而应该做照顾者、榜样和职业顾问。本句立片言以居要，是第二段的主题句。这种写法既利于考生的写作，又便于阅卷人抓住段落的主要思想。

4. ensuring they live in the most loving home possible，确保他们生活在一个最充满爱的家庭里。possible一般后置，当它所修饰的名词之前有形容词最高级修饰时。

5. Parents should also be a role model, as children always look to their parents for cues on how to get on in the world. 家长还应当成为榜样，因为孩子总是指望从父母那里得到一些立身处世的线索。look to sb for sth，指望某人提供某物。get on in the world，立身处世。

6. Last but by no means least，最后但决非最不重要的一点是，亦作last but not least。

7. As well-intentioned as she is, the woman’s decision might actually hurt her daughter’s future career. 虽然这位女子的用意是好的，但她的决定可能实际上会损害她女儿的未来事业。as --- as ---位于句首时，用来引导一个倒装形式的让步状语从句。hurt vt. 对 --- 产生不良的影响。

8. on one’s own，独立地。